Mary's Month

The month of May is traditionally Mary's month. It has always been one of my favorite months of the year, along with October. Today is a very special day, because it is my only child's 8th birthday. Today I remember with fondness and awe that day 8 years ago, when she was born at 3:11 on a Tuesday afternoon. I woke up already in labor that morning, and I was only at the hospital for about six hours before she was born. She was named after my mother for her middle name.

It is a joy to witness the excitement of my daughter as we prepare for her birthday party this evening. I know that Mary is watching over us with her holy, maternal love, celebrating this lovely day with my family and my daughter's friends, along with the happiness she must receive from the special honor we give her during this whole month. In a couple of weeks Beezy will be baptized and officially enter into the family of God.

I ask for a blessing upon this day, that any worries will be set aside, that our hearts will be filled with nothing but love and joy, and that all of God's grace will be upon us. The one who is full of grace shares it with anyone who asks. Beezy just came in and said that she and my husband were in a car accident! Thank goodness they were not harmed. Well, no day is perfect, but our joy can still be boundless if we choose it!!

Just Jesus and Me?

A man who isolates himself seeks his own desire; He rages against all wise judgement (Proverbs 18:1). 

On the Catholic TV program, The Journey Home, host Marcus Grodi was talking to a former Episcopalian priest about the "just Jesus and me" doctrine of some evangelical churches. This means that the personal relationship with Jesus, and individual study of the Bible, is emphasized in exclusion to almost anything else in one's Christian walk. For some, even church is not absolutely necessary.

Catholics also recognize the importance of a personal relationship with Jesus, but the difference is that it happens within membership in the Church--the Body of Christ--and its living sacraments and traditions. The sacred scriptures also find their home and fullest expression within the liturgy (the Catholic church service known as the Mass). The homily given by the priest then applies the readings to daily life.

Individual Bible study is encouraged as well, but Catholics are not left to their own devices of interpretation. Rather, interpretation occurs through the lens of Tradition. It is true that some Catholics end up leaving the Church because they do not feel that they ever had a personal relationship with Jesus. They feel that they knew the associated rituals and practices but not Jesus himself, and some end up being drawn to a Protestant church to fill this need. This reflects poor teaching of the faith from within the Catholic Church, and from what I understand, a greater emphasis on knowing Jesus personally is one of the results of Vatican II to remedy this situation. The traffic is going both ways, also leading many to the fullness of the faith found in Catholicism.

Perhaps what has not always been understood is that the Catholic is never alone in his walk with Jesus, nor do I think Jesus wants anyone to venture on the path without company. Each member of the Church together with the others, both those still living on this earth and those living eternally in heaven (or still in purgatory), comprise the mystical Body of Christ, of which Jesus is the Head, and the Church is to respond to the Bridegroom, Jesus, as his Bride. Each member is also individually a bride of Christ, but this is within the context of the larger Body. Therefore, the idea of "just Jesus and me" is a false understanding. We are created to worship together.

There is a place for personal revelation, certainly, but again it cannot conflict with the teachings of the Church, which are based on the interdependent relationship of Scripture and Tradition. There were 12 apostles, as well as a group of women, who physically followed Jesus in his ministry. It was a large group of 120 disciples, including the Virgin Mary, who received the gift of the Holy Spirit at Pentecost together after Jesus ascended. This was the official beginning of the Church, headed by Peter, that exists still today, as Jesus promised that it would until he came again. Despite its long history of corruption and less than holy people, Jesus said that hell would not prevail over his Church, that he would protect it and its teachings. This Church is none other than the Catholic Church, the only church with an unbroken line tracing it back to Jesus and his apostles. What more assurance do we need?

 Pentecost

The primary form of worship in the Catholic Church, the Eucharist celebration, was established by Jesus at the Last Supper. Jesus also gave Peter the "keys to the kingdom", granting him the ability to forgive sins in Jesus' name and such power that whatever Peter bound on earth would be bound in heaven, and whatever he loosed on earth would be loosed in heaven. Jesus gave similar authority to all the apostles, with Peter having primacy, and this authority has been handed down to the succeeding popes and bishops, from generation to generation. Even in the midst of evil doings by people in the Church, the keys have never been lost.

And we have been left in good company. The dead are not dead, but they are living in him, says Jesus, and so we have Mary and the saints as role models, advocates, teachers, and intercessors. They walk along with us in the "great cloud of witnesses".  Think about it like this. Not so long ago, if a person wanted to be a blacksmith, he was apprenticed to a master blacksmith, learning the trade by working along side of him. He was not left to his own devices to figure out how to forge the metal.

When I was pregnant, I appointed one of my co-workers, Lisa, to be my "pregnancy mentor". She was three months further along in her pregnancy, so I could go to her with questions and learn from her experience. One day I was short of breath, and Lisa instructed me to raise both arms above my head, from which I received instant relief! Mary, the Mother of God, is my motherhood mentor, just as my own mother has also been, along with other mothers I know whose children are older than mine. And I, in return, am a mentor to others. We are not alone in any of our journeys in life!

Mary also mentors us by her example of faith and loyalty, leading us in how to be steadfast, spiritually mothering us gently but firmly, reminding us to "Do whatever he tells you," because, we must admit, we often forget. Mary is mother, teacher, and advocate, always helping when we ask her, praying for us, and pointing us back to Jesus when our eyes wander. She continues to cooperate fully in God's plan for our salvation and entrance into the divine family, which is why she is referred to as intercessor. Mary is the human person most perfectly conformed to Christ. We would be wise to attach ourselves to her.

A woman wrote in Mamapedia, an online group, that she does not ask, or need, others to pray for her, because she goes straight to Jesus. And yes, we should and must pray directly to God. But I don't think anyone can rightly deny that there is great power in the prayers of many, working together for healing, for a common cause, for Love to prevail. Paul tells us in his epistles to pray for each other, so that is what we are obligated to do. It behooves us all to walk with Jesus as one, holding hands. Just Jesus and me, and you, and your sister, neighbor, and friends, and Mary and the saints and the angels, all joining in a holy chorus, singing "Hosanna in the highest..."

The Holy of Holies

I am interested right now in the Holy of Holies and its relationship to Jesus' mission and mystical connection to his mother, Mary. The Holy of Holies was the inner sanctuary of the Tabernacle, and later the Temple, in Jerusalem in the Hebrew Bible. The Ark of the Covenant, which held the Ten Commandments given to Moses, was kept there during the First Temple. Only the High Priest could enter the Holy of Holies, the Most Holy Place, once a year on Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement, to offer the blood sacrifice and incense before the mercy seat. It is significant that the Holy of Holies was hidden by a veil, and that this veil was torn at the time of Jesus' crucifixion.

by A.L. Gardere

In the wilderness, on the day that the Tabernacle was first raised up, the cloud of the Lord (Shekinah) covered the Tabernacle. There are other times that this was recorded, and instructions were given that the Lord would appear in the cloud upon the mercy seat with its two statues of cherubim, and at that time the priests should not enter into the Tabernacle (Leviticus 16:2). Upon completion of the dedication of the Tabernacle, the Voice of God spoke to Moses "from between the Cherubim" (Numbers 7:89). [Information on the Holy Holies has been paraphrased from Wikipedia.]

With respect to my using the triquetra symbol to visualize the nature of God, we can think in terms of an outer court, which contains the masculine principle, the Lord, and an inner court, which contains the feminine principle, Lady Wisdom. I am understanding the Holy of Holies to mystically represent the intersection of these two principles, which is reflected in the bridal chamber of the Song of Songs in the Old Testament. The Beloved (the groom) and the Shulamite (the bride), symbolize God's relationship with his Sophia, Jesus' marriage to Ecclesia (the Church), and the mystical union of the Holy Spirit and the Virgin Mary. Mary is the Ark of the New Covenant, where the "glory cloud" presence of God (Shekinah) dwells. Human marriage between a man and a woman most perfectly represents the union of the masculine and feminine principles within God.

 triquetra

Jesus came to restore humanity and the human soul to the family of God, and to reconcile the masculine to the feminine in the unity of Pure Love. In the Old Testament, Israel (God's people) was compared to an unfaithful wife who God brings back to himself. In the Book of Revelation in the New Testament, Daughter Zion is seen in heavenly glory as the New Jerusalem, representing the redeemed people, God's bride.

The teachings of Jesus, the Bible, and the Church are available to us as the "pearl of great price" which is hidden until the right time (like the Holy of Holies behind the veil), for those who have "eyes to see" and "ears to hear."  Jesus' saving act tears the veil. The way of Wisdom, which I believe is reflected in this understanding of the unity represented by the Holy of Holies, leads to this pearl. When the Ark of the Covenant, which had long been lost, is seen in Revelation in God's Temple in heaven, there is revealed the great sign, the woman clothed with the sun, with the moon beneath her feet and on her head a crown of twelve stars. She is in labor to give birth to the most holy male child, who is taken by God and seated at his right hand, saved from the ancient serpent waiting to devour him. This woman is simultaneously Mary, Queen of Heaven; the Church, Bride of Christ; Daughter Zion, the New Jerusalem--who, with her divine Son, represents the restoration of the people to God and his Wisdom.

Mary is thus understood as Mother of Jesus, Daughter of God the Father, and Bride/Sanctuary of the Spirit. The Incarnation of Jesus in her womb is the Holy of Holies, the Most Holy Place.

What Is Mysticism?

 Joan of Arc

Maternal Indigo chronicles my personal, spiritual journey, particularly as relates to the path along which I am joining the Catholic Church. It is a journey that analyzes what has gone before, my past beliefs, and the ongoing evolution of my religious thinking and experiences, with a particular slant toward the mystical. But what, exactly, is mysticism, and what does it mean to be a mystic? When we think of mystics, Joan of Arc or Hildegard of Bingen may come to mind, or poets such as William Blake. But what about "ordinary" people like you and me? Can we also lead a mystical life? My belief is that if this is so desired, then certainly it can be.

In a general sense, mysticism can be a belief in or experience of a reality surpassing normal human experience, especially perceived as essential to the nature of life. It can be understood as the transcendentalism of Emerson's "transparent eyeball" and be marked by "peak experiences", otherwise known as a state of "flow". For Emerson this translated as a stream-of-consciousness style of writing. Self-consciousness melts away, and the human becomes one with the universe. This type of experience may occur as an artist paints, a poet writes, a dancer performs, or a gardener pulls weeds. Meditation is often used to achieve this state of unity with all of creation. It is the detachment or nonattachment described by great spiritual thinkers from various traditions. In a creative endeavor, the artist seems to be divinely inspired, and the resulting work is a collaboration between human will and a higher power. I have had many such mystical experiences of a creative nature.

In Christian theology, mysticism is a system of contemplative prayer and spirituality aimed at achieving direct unitive experience of the divine. It is an immediate consciousness of the transcendent or ultimate reality of God. In some cases, awareness of the presence of God rather than union with Him is the reality. This was the case for me when, at the age of 8, God called me to be baptized while attending Sunday school, a message I heard directly in my head. A similar experience occurred last fall when God called me to the Catholic Church for a meeting with the Virgin Mary, where her presence and message were mystically made known to me.

Visions and miracles are other types of mystical experiences. Hence the inner voices telling Joan of Arc to lead an army and the special knowledge she received to prove the message was from God, the apparitions to Bernadette by the Virgin Mary at Lourdes and subsequent spiritual and physical healings, and Hildegard's and Jane Leade's personal visions of the Virgin Spirit Sophia. The only possible test of authenticity from a Christian perspective is personal transformation, both on the mystic's part and upon the part of those whom the mystic has affected. The Catholic Church has strict criteria for deciding upon the authenticity of an apparition of the Virgin Mary, for example. Has conversion taken place? Are the fruits of the visions good and holy? Have others been lead to God as a result of the visions and miracles?

 Our Lady of Lourdes by SakuraHaze

Mysticism inspires a sense of mystery and wonder. What was once obscure, strange, and enigmatic is divinely revealed. Sometimes a mystical experience is a purposeful goal, while at other times the peak experience occurs accidentally, as it were, while washing one's hair or chopping vegetables for a soup. Often a repetitive ritual of a physical nature engages the logical left brain so that the creative processes of the right brain have a chance to be released. Inspiration means a state of being filled with the spirit. A combination of study, prayer, and meditation, or the carrying out of some routine task, or becoming lost in a creative endeavor, may bring about the presence of Holy Wisdom; and suddenly one understands, a hidden meaning is disclosed,  and the "ah" moment when we see into the nature of God and existence is reflected in our own souls.

Blog Management and Comment Policy

Just like with any other endeavor, learning how to best manage a blog is a matter of trial and error. There are plenty of etiquette tips out there, and one good suggestion I came across is to establish a comment policy. Negative comments are, unfortunately, a likelihood, so setting down how you will deal with them is important. First of all, the general consensus is to allow dissenting views. I agree with this, but I also think boundaries are necessary to maintain a professional quality blog. Personal attacks do not belong on either the blog page or in its comments. Regardless of how carefully you try to word the views you are expressing via your blog, you cannot control what may offend another person.

I recommend regularly editing your blog content to best reflect your theme in a nonconfrontational manner, without watering down your posts and thus interfering with the integrity of your writing. Say what you have to say clearly and succinctly. Specific examples are more effective than generalized comments, so complete anonymity is not possible, nor should your readers expect it, if you are writing about your own life. It is a delicate balance, and only the continued experience of writing will achieve the desired results. Be as careful as you can with the tone of your blog, while understanding that the tone you intend and how a reader takes it may not be the same. The tone of the comments you allow should also be respectful and polite. So here is my policy:

1. My blog is my space, and I have the right to moderate all comments before choosing to post or not to post. All comments have been placed on the moderation setting, to be previewed before potential posting.
2. Polite, respectful differences of opinion will be allowed, but  no personal attacks or attacks against any group of people, foul language, or comments of a nature that I deem inappropriate for whatever reason will be published. 
3. Only blog members will be able to comment. I have experienced cases of people I personally know using fake names in order to start arguments and personally attack me, so this policy calls for a higher level of accountability by the commenter.
4. While I post blog links to Facebook to extend readership, I prefer comments to be made at the blog website itself, where they can be moderated. My feeling is that negativity and comments of a personal nature, as well as extended conversations and arguments, creates an unprofessional atmosphere.
5. I reserve the right to delete any comments from my Facebook wall, with no explanation.
6. Comments most likely to be published are those in reflection of the specific content of the post, rather than judgments upon me personally. I welcome opinions on the work itself.
7. My blog falls in the literary genre of the personal essay, and therefore is a work of creative nonfiction, not to be expected to be entirely factual like a newspaper article. My posts are opinion pieces from my personal perspective on a particular theme, reflecting my own experiences and supported at times by professional or factual information. A balanced approached to possible sides of any issue is not to be expected. Comments should reflect an understanding of this nature of the blog.

The Mystic Path

Catholic Mystic, Hildegard of Bingen

One of my favorite books is Ordinary People as Monks and Mystics. The author attempts to provide a view of the lives of various people who are nonconformists in many ways, whose interior, spiritual life, to greater or lesser degrees, takes precedence over the signals modern society deems necessary for success--money, material goods, power, a high profile career. The monks and mystics this book describes do not live in monasteries or convents, but they do have some things in common with those who do. Their lives are relatively simple; they often require little money, because they have drastically pared down their material needs; they are socially transcendent; and in the case of mystics, they are also self-transcendent, and their overriding goal is union with God.

In all cases, these otherwise "ordinary" people experienced a stage of growth in which they had to pull away in some respects from others and focus inward. They were compelled to reorient themselves toward individual authenticity and re-evaluate what was most important and necessary to personal happiness. "Fitting in" to society was no longer important, and they let go of feeling socially obligated to spend time doing things that did not contribute to their spiritual calling. Small talk no longer held their interest.

Eventually after the period of withdrawal, the monk or mystic would be renewed and feel compelled to return to society the fruits of his or her isolation. Even if he lived alone in the woods, this person would perhaps have an Ebay business in which to sell his hand crafts, or he would publish his poetry. Or the business executive who seemed to live a conventional life might spend a great deal of time practicing yoga or meditating or finding ways to make his business more environmentally sustainable, honest, or helpful to a greater number of people. A feeling of union with others, rather than separation, would prevail.

Mystics such as the visionaries of Medjugorje, who were teenagers when they began to receive visitations and messages from the Virgin Mary, would spend several hours a day at mass and in prayer. We may not have time to be such outwardly devoted mystics. But the housewife who dedicates her day to the care of her home and family, who lives simply and prepares home cooked meals, may be no less contemplative than those Yugoslavian visionaries.

I would like to continue to discuss what it means to be a mystic and the price associated with such a calling, which may lead others to wondering and worrying about a person who lives such an unconventional life as this. Friends and family may wonder about the "sudden" (though it usually is not) change. Have you become a religious fanatic? What is wrong with eating meat? Are you starved for attention? Why don't you want to go to this party or that family gathering? Are you depressed? Are you anti-social? Why don't you read the newspaper? Are you trying to avoid the "real world"?

Or is it, rather, that finding the Real World is exactly your mission?

Apologetics and Revisiting Ecumenism

Our Lady's Maronite Catholic Church

In a previous article I discuss ecumenism and a "take what you like and leave the rest" approach to religion based on the practices of 12 Step programs. In light of coming further along with my studies of the Catholic faith, I would like to return to this topic now. I have come upon the phrase, "cafeteria Catholic", which describes making a hodge podge selection of which Catholic teachings one chooses to follow and which to ignore. I still believe that bickering over details regarding Christian beliefs and practices is not pleasing to God, but knowing what you believe, and why, and standing up for your faith is important. The Bible says we should always be prepared to defend the hope that is in us. In Catholicism, this is called apologetics. This does not mean that one apologizes for being Catholic, but rather explains the tradition.

Because, by Catholic admission, many people have been poorly catechized (learned the specifics of what the church teaches), especially in the wake of the confusion after Vatican II, it is important for all Catholics and those entering the Church, such as myself, to be properly educated. Not doing so results in misunderstandings, such as that Catholics worship Mary, the saints, and statues. It is how the faith is defended, the attitude in which it is done, that is of concern as well.

If the Catholic Church is who she says she is, the very Church that Jesus Christ founded, and the pope and bishops are directly traceable back to the 12 apostles, and if the teaching of this Church is infallible (the official teaching, not the people themselves), then a Catholic must uphold all articles of faith, dogma, and traditions of the Church to be in union with Christ and the Church. That includes the teaching on birth control, homosexuality, abortion, and other controversial issues. This does not mean that we judge others if they don't follow the Church's teaching on matters such as these, or that we should hate anyone for believing or living differently. Quite the opposite. Love is always the order of the day.

So while I no longer "take what I like and leave the rest", because I do believe that the Church is who she says she is, I think it is imperative that Christians of opposing views do not alienate one another and that all religions need to be respected whose followers love and believe in God.  To my understanding, this is the stance of the Catholic Church. I took what I liked and left the rest at first, and now I rest instead on the authority of the Church as completely as I am able, one step at a time. I do believe that the fullest expression of Christian truth is found in the Catholic Church, and it is a relief not to have to interpret things, such as the Bible, myself. Since it is not my opinion, but God's word, both oral and written, that I must continue to know and understand through the Church, I also know that there is no reason to be defensive in any defense I am called to make.