Blog-to-Book Project Invitation

Hello faithful readers of Maternal Indigo! I have just begun a new blog project designed for creating a full length book on the themes found here. It's working title is Wisdom's Dwelling. I've been an official member of the Catholic Church for two years now, and I've continued to research the topic of Marian devotion and the Sacred Feminine in Christianity. Please join me at www.wisdomsdwelling.blogspot.com to continue the journey.  I welcome reader feedback as I put my rough draft into a finished book form. My aim to flesh out a truly Catholic Sophiology that is directly tied to Marian tradition, in light of contemporary thought.

I had to get to the point where I am living a sapiential Marian Catholicism before I could determine the direction of the book, which I am planning to be a series of 53 reflections in honor of the 53 Hail Marys of the Holy Rosary. Don't forget to sign up to follow by email at Wisdom's Dwelling so you can read along as I go. See you there!

Deification of the Virgin

I found the following excerpt from a blog which illuminates the dogmas of the Immaculate Conception and Assumption of Mary:

"It was a class in Anatomy and Physiology, and the lesson on microchimerism, that concretely illustrated for me those two dogmas. Learning that every child leaves within his mother a microscopic bit of himself—and that it remains within her forever—the dogma of the Immaculate Conception was instantly illuminated.

Mary, then, was indeed a tabernacle for the divinity—not for a limited time, but for all of her life. Thus the Immaculate Conception made and makes perfect sense: God, who is all-good is also completely pure; the vessel in which he resides, then, must also be pure, or it would not be able to sustain all of that light.

And this relates directly to the Assumption of Mary as well. In the psalms we read 'you will not suffer your beloved to undergo corruption.' Christ’s divine body did not undergo corruption, but ascended into heaven; it follows that his mother’s body, which contained a cellular component of that divinity—and a particle of God is God, entire—would not be permitted to undergo corruption, as well.

It could not be otherwise. The God particle, commingled with humanity, necessarily preserves humanity, and calls it to himself. This is incarnational. It is eucharistic, from the beginning. It is our life, conceived in light" (http://www.firstthings.com/onthesquare/2011/05/lovemaking-with-the-lights-on).

Next is an excerpt given in explanation of the difference between being divine by nature and deification by participation:

To sum up simply, Mary is a goddess by participating in divinity, through grace, to a higher extent than most humans can or will. However, all saints (that is, all who arrive in heaven) do and so Mary with all the saints could rightly be called gods and goddesses. But this in no way compromises monotheism of the one triune God, whose divinity is through itself (found in comments on the blog, Mary and Mariology: Divinizing Mary?).

These both struck me as interesting because the Catholic Church has often been accused of divinizing Mary and elevating her to the level of a goddess. In the case of the first excerpt, the only disagreement I might have is the argument that a particle of God is God entire. But a particle of God is certainly divine, and modern science sheds light on and validates Catholic teaching regarding Mary. As I have discussed before, Charlene Spretnak posed the question in Missing Mary as to whether the Blessed Mother would have been ontologically changed into a quasi-divine (or semi-divine) being by virtue of carrying Jesus in her womb, and the author implied that she would have.

The second excerpt reflects the theology of early Church Fathers who said that "God became man so that man might become gods." This means that people are not divine by nature but have the potential to be deified through participation in the divine nature. Rather than referring to Mary as semi-divine, I believe she should be understood as a divinized human being, with her deification being utterly unique by virtue of her Immaculate Conception and her physical motherhood of God the Son. I agree with Spretnak that modern science gives evidence that the traditional, cosmological, biblicalplus veneration of Mary and her full spiritual presence needs to be returned to the Church. Mary is officially honored with the unique status of hyperdulia by the Church, and so she cannot be relegated to being merely another in the communion of saints or just a model of discipleship.

The Church does not call the saints gods and goddesses, so I would discourage that practice. But I do think there is too much stigma attached to the word goddess. The name "God" typically implies a male deity. In polytheistic religions, there were multiple gods and goddesses with varying ranks of power. In Catholicism, there is one God in three persons, and this God is neither male nor female, but pure spirit. "Goddess" simply means a female deity. If the masculine version can be used to describe the one, true Creator, then why is there such repulsion in the idea of the Almighty being called Goddess? The argument is that "goddess" implies a polytheistic, pagan religion, but the same could be argued that pagans also used the word "god".  In fact, there was a monotheistic religion pre-dating the Judeo-Christian tradition which believed in an entirely feminine trinity (the maiden, mother, and crone). One interpretation of history is that the patriarchal conquerors of the people who worshipped the Great Mother created an all-male version of this trinity. The idea of God in three persons is correct, but both variations are incomplete.

This is why devotion to Mary is so important, as well as the revival of the ancient Wisdom tradition of the Old Testament that was also practiced by the early Church, in which God was understood to have a feminine dimension. We need religion that honors the sacred feminine and the bridal-maternal aspects of divinity. We need to see the hidden Sophia, who is part and parcel of Christ, and who is manifested in His human Mother.

Ruah Elohim

"Again (v., 27), how could Adam (and Eve) be made in the image of the Elohim, male and female, unless the Elohim were male and female also? The word Elohim is a plural formed from the feminine singular ALH, Eloh, by adding IM to the word. But inasmuch as IM is usually the termination of the masculine plural, and is here added to a feminine noun, it gives to the word Elohim the sense of a female potency united to a masculine idea, and thereby capable of producing an offspring. Now we hear much of the Father and the Son, but we hear nothing of the Mother in the ordinary religions of the day. But in the Kabbalah we find that the Ancient of Days conforms himself simultaneously into the Father and the Mother, and thus begets the Son. Now this Mother is Elohim." (http://www.sacred-texts.com/wmn/wb/wb59.htm)

When I met my husband, I asked him if he had a religion (big question for a first date!). He told me that he practiced Kabbalah, which I had never heard of, so of course I was intrigued. Kabbalah is basically Jewish mysticism. I found a book about this religion so that I could understand what my new boyfriend was into. In Kabbalah, the Tree of Life provides the framework for understanding spiritual levels of being and the nature of God. It's very complex, but the idea that captured my imagination was the explanation of the Hebrew word Elohim, which in English is translated as God. God is obviously a singular word, but when God speaks the words, "Let us" in the creation story of Genesis, we get a glimpse of the trinitarian nature of God, God in three persons. In Catholic tradition, the Son is begotten of the Father, and the Holy Spirit proceeds from both as the Love generated between them. But this begetting and proceeding is a simultaneous process, not a temporal one-after-the-other. I see the Spirit as the "Mother Love" of the Trinity.

 Mary and the Holy Spirit

As the initial, quoted paragraph above states, Elohim is comprised of a masculine plural added to a feminine noun. When I contemplate Catholic writer Thomas Merton's theology that Holy Wisdom (Sophia) is the Ousia of God, God's primordial essence of being, and that Sophia is inherent to (contained in) all three persons of the Trinity, the meaning of the word Elohim is perfectly crystallized. The Spirit of God is pictured in the creation story, hovering over the waters like a mother bird over her eggs, as the divine power of generation. In Hebrew, this person of the Trinity is named Ruah Elohim. As I have discussed before, Ruah is a feminine word. We find in Ruah Elohim, who is the Holy Spirit (Ruah Ha-Kodesh), the manifestation of the maternal aspect of God. The Holy Spirit is Lord, as the Nicene Creed states, not because the Spirit is particularly male or masculine, but because the Spirit is a divinely equal member of the Trinity along with the Father and the Son, both of whom Sacred Scripture calls "Lord".

It has become increasingly apparent to me that the Lady Wisdom of the Bible fleshes out, so to speak, the nature of the third person of the Trinity. Rather than remaining a kind of impersonal, ambiguous entity running the risk of becoming the marginalized member of the Godhead, we see clearly in Sophia the bridal-maternal character of the Holy Spirit. Furthermore, if we consider the profound indwelling of Mary by the Spirit of Wisdom, especially as articulated by St. Maximilian Kolbe, we can comprehend the basis of Marian devotion as a reflection of the intuitive understanding that the mission of the Holy Spirit is accomplished particularly through the Mother of God.

Kolbe goes so far as to say that Mary is a "quasi-incarnation" of the Holy Spirit, while being clear that this relationship is not the same in nature as the hypostatic union of the divine and human natures of Jesus, who is fully God and fully man. Mary is purely human, but Kolbe sees Mary as the ultimate sanctuary of the Holy Spirit, in as close a relationship as is possible of the strictly human with the divine. Mary does nothing apart from the Holy Spirit. Kolbe teaches that Mary's soul is completely permeated with the Holy Spirit, so her being is in perfect harmony with the mission of this Spirit of Wisdom. According to the saint, this is why Mary could call herself the Immaculate Conception at Lourdes. Because the Holy Spirit is the uncreated Immaculate Conception, Mary is the created Immaculate Conception. Therefore, veneration of Mary reflects adoration of the Holy Spirit.

It is also important to note that this inseparable union between Mary and the Holy Spirit does not obliterate Mary's unique personality and essential qualities as a human being. Because she was from her conception free from sin, Mary could most completely experience God's grace and achieve the holiness that the Spirit worked, and continues to work, in her. Precisely because she is not bogged down and separated from God by a sinful nature, Mary can be that much more Mary. I think that one reason people are so drawn to the Blessed Mother is that we quest for the "authentic self", in pop psychology terms. We see in Mary a fully actualized human being. This is the goal of all mystics who desire unity with God. The more we have Christ in us, the more our true selves we become. By losing ourselves we find ourselves, as Jesus taught his disciples about Life. 

At RCIA on Sunday, the teacher talked about prayer and its nature as a personal relationship with God. She said that we can focus prayer to any of the members of the Trinity, in whatever way brings us closer to God. She spoke of being initially confused about the Holy Spirit, but that she is now a "Holy Spirit person".  I shared my use of the Hebrew name Ruah for Spirit in my prayers. I find it very beautiful, and for me at this time in my journey, Ruah Elohim, such an eloquently poetic name, is my preferred call to God. It fills my imagination with an image of God that is both Father and Mother, with a focus on the immanent, maternal Presence (Shekinah) of our Holy Creator.

Simple Marian Devotions #2

At our local Family Dollar I can buy Catholic, glass jar candles for a couple of dollars. I have one with a picture of Our Lady of Guadalupe on it. The prayer reads, Merciful Virgin Mary of Guadalupe, show clemency, love and compassion to those who love you and search for your protection. May the sweet fragrance of roses reach your divine son, our Lord Jesus Christ, that he may hear our prayers. Wipe our tears and give us comfort and assistance. (concentrate on your desires). Amen. 

As a simple devotion, you can light the candle and say the prayer, adding your special needs and petitions. I have the candle burning right beside me as I write this. I am also listening to "An English Ladymass" on CD, which contains 13th- and 14th-century chant and polyphony in honor of the Virgin Mary. The lyrics are in Latin, so I don't understand them, but the women's voices are glorious, and the music is calming. I borrowed the CD from my library system and have others on the way. You can play music such as this and meditate upon the love and intercession of our heavenly Mother while making dinner, folding laundry, writing in your journal, or practicing yoga.

Today I went for a walk in the woods with my 8-year-old daughter. Luckily I had my Rosary in my purse, and I recalled how John Paul II had a regular practice of walking in nature while praying the Rosary. I got through most of the Luminous Mysteries before we had to go. There is something about a moving meditation that is especially gratifying.

 Pope John Paul II

I usually pray for a particular intention at the start of my Rosary recitations. Sharing our smallest worries and our deepest needs and sorrows, as well as our joys, hopes, and dreams, truly honors our Holy Queen. And we can trust that she will present them as the most fragrant and lovely bouquet of roses to her divine Son. In honoring her, we honor our Lord.

My Marian Anniversary

It has been a year since I met the Mother of my Lord, the Virgin Mary. The anniversary was actually September 21, when in 2011 I followed her call to the Catholic Church in my town and discovered the Rosary Garden. The previous night I had been troubled with insomnia, particularly distraught over women's issues in society and my own personal struggles with my family of origin. I felt my essential role as a mother being attacked, and my heart was broken. Inexplicably, I prayed to Mary, for the first time in my life. In her garden I sat and talked to her. I cried and was comforted by her maternal, spiritual presence. Suddenly, I had hope. If I joined the Catholic Church, I could have Mary.

I started going to Mass shortly after this experience. I began to read books about Mary from the library and was like a starving person presented with a banquet and surrounded by roses. I didn't know how much I had needed a spiritual Mother, and the more I read, the more fascinated I became regarding all I did not know about the history of Christianity. I became interested enough to look into R.C.I.A., the Rite of Christian Initiation for Adults. But they were too far into the program at that point for me to jump in. Just this month I finally began the official process toward joining the Church, which I now love with all my heart.

I am still learning, and after a whole year, I am not any less enthusiastic about the Mother of God. She has continued to gently lead me back to her Son, who I had drifted from for so long. My daughter has been baptized in the Church and loves her weekly religious education classes. And I have been inspired in my writing in a way I hadn't been in years, through the awakening of passion and awe. So happy anniversary to me, and thank you Blessed Mother for enriching my life with your love, faith, beauty, and intercession. Hail, Holy Queen!

Simple Marian Devotions #1

I found that when I became interested in Marian devotions, it was difficult to know where to begin.  Now that I have had some time to develop certain practices, I would like to share them in a series that will hopefully be simple to follow.  As I have mentioned before, in my studies of the Chinese bodhisattva Kuan Yin, I noticed similarities between this being of compassion and Jesus and Mary.  In fact, Kuan Yin historically has taken on an undeniable likeness to the Blessed Mother.  Therefore it was easy for me to appropriate a Kuan Yin meditation chant by Lisa Thiel to an invocation of the spiritual presence of Mary.

Here are the original lyrics (you can listen to the song to learn the tune at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7t_9tbdNldI), Lisa Thiel - Part 1: "Waters of Compassion")--

Mantra--Namo Kwan Shi Yin Pu Sa
To the One Who hears all the cries of the world, I call to You to invoke Your grace
Mother of Compassion, Goddess of Mercy
I offer You all the burdens of my heart, That I may become empty, To be open to receive Your blessings
Mantra
This world is filled with suffering, Yet You, our Savioress, offer us solace
Mother of Compassion, Goddess of Mercy
I offer out into the world, All the love that you have given to me, For the sake of all sentient beings
Mantra

When I sing my version, which is acoustically nice to do in the shower, I begin with:
"To the one who hears all the cries of the world, I call to you to invoke your grace;
Mother of Compassion, Ave Maria; Mother of Compassion, Ave Maria."
Then I sing, "Hail Mary, Our Lady of Guadalupe; Holy Mary, the Virgin of Guadalupe;
Queen of Heaven with the moon under her feet; Queen of Heaven with the moon under her feet."

 Our Lady of Guadalupe with St. Juan Diego

You could incorporate the other lyrics by simply replacing "Savioress" with a Marian title that appeals to you, such as Benefactress, Advocate, or Mediatrix. It is also interesting to note that Paraclete, another name for the Holy Spirit, means "one who hears the cries." This devotion thus underscores the intimate union of Mary with the Spirit of Wisdom.

I think that praying in song is especially powerful, as the Psalms of the Bible attest, and chanting gets one into a calm, peaceful, and contemplative spiritual state. You could light a candle and meditate while singing this invocation, and of course offer other prayers as they come to mind.  To replace the mantra, Namo Kuan Shi Yin Pu Sa, which is Kuan Yin's full name, you can substitute whatever name for Mary that might rhythmically fit, such as "Stella Maris, Star of the Sea."

You are free to play around with whatever lyrics resonate most with you.  My version is a place to start. The tune Lisa Thiel created is lovely, as is her ethereal voice, and despite its origins in a "goddess" type tradition, the appropriation to Mary turns it into a beautiful Christian devotion.

True Devotion to Mary

As (Mary) is the dawn which precedes and reveals the Sun of Justice, who is Jesus Christ, she must be seen and recognized in order that Jesus Christ may also be.  
--St. Louis de Montfort 

In his book True Devotion to Mary, St. Louis de Montfort repeatedly uses passages from the Wisdom Books of the Bible to refer to the Virgin Mother of Christ. Montfort specifically designates Jesus as Holy Wisdom; in concert with this, it appears that because of his deep understanding of the completeness of Wisdom's indwelling of the Blessed Mother, he also recognizes Mary as Wisdom in a mystical sense. She is the embodiment of the feminine Wisdom, who is the mother/daughter/bride aspect of divinity.

Montfort advocates his particular process of consecration to Jesus through Mary in this book, and I think it no exaggeration to say that he felt there could be no fullness of expression of Catholicism without devotion to the Mother of God. One cannot truly know Jesus without knowing his mother. Therefore, a Christianity lacking in Marian devotion is an incomplete religion, from Montfort's point of view.

It seems, then, following the example of Montfort, that it is beneficial to contemplate the Virgin Mary when one reads the Wisdom Books of the Old Testament (particularly Proverbs, Wisdom, and Sirach). One could picture our spiritual Mother while dwelling upon these holy words and images, making this a powerful practice of devotion to Our Lady.

"We are convinced without any doubt that devotion to Our Lady is essentially joined with devotion to Christ, that it assures a firmness of conviction to faith in Him and in His Church, a vital adherence to Him and to His Church which, without devotion to Mary, would be impoverished and compromised." --Pope Paul VI

Marian Devotion--to Restore the Sacred Feminine

When I was a kid my mother was fond of questioning, "Is nothing sacred?"  At the time I didn't really get what she meant.  Now I want to live a sacramental life, a life rooted in the practice of Catholicism.  In Hebrew, the phrase the fear of the Lord means reverence for God, the practice of true religion.  The fear of the Lord is largely absent in our secular culture, even in some of our churches.

One element of the sacred that needs to be restored is the embracing of the holy feminine.  Christians, pagans, and members of all the great world religions are recognizing the connection between the absence of a divine feminine presence in our consciousness and how this has manifested in the destruction of "Mother Nature".  Women, and our Earth, who is characterized always in feminine terms, are raped and degraded.  The imbalances of an overly patriarchal culture are reeking the havoc of war, poverty, pollution, extreme climate change, species endangerment and extinction, environmental destruction, and a serious shortage of drinking water.  Much of our food is not safe to eat, nor our products safe to use.  These issues are the result of a lack of the sacred in everyday life in general, and in particular of a feminine image of holiness.  Also, the dignity of women and all of humanity is threatened, and the broken family is a distressingly common phenomenon.  People intuitively feel like they have been orphaned of a spiritual mother, although they may not be able to put a finger on what is missing in their lives.

As Christians, we need Mary to restore this balance.  But there are road blocks that get in the way of embracing a Marian devotion.  Some say the patriarchy took over the Church and kicked the divine feminine, once known as the Great Mother, out of religious practice.  This is absolutely true of much of Protestant Christianity.  And it is true that some comments and attitudes of the early Catholic Church fathers were misogynist, blaming all of the world's woes on Eve exclusively, and by extension, on women in general.  Well, they were flawed, human men of their times.  But they also contemplated the unique role of the Virgin Mary and grew more and more in awe of her and what God has done through her.  They elevated her place in the Church to a level of extreme veneration.  The Holy Spirit worked to reveal Mary to these men as the ever-virgin, Divine Mother, the Mother of God.  And all of the Church's Marian dogmas reflect the understanding of her human but divinized nature, by virtue of partaking of the divinity of her son.

The Catholic Church embraces a God whose nature and qualities are both masculine and feminine.  The revelation of this truth is limited by the language we use and our human understanding; however, God as Mother is revealed through the Church (Ecclesia) herself, which is always referred to as "she", the Bride of Christ and his Mystical Body.  Mary is the most eminent member of the Church and is loved and revered as spiritual Mother.

We could invoke God in ways that reflect both the paternal and maternal aspects by using inclusive titles, such as Father-Mother God, God of Motherly Wisdom, Abba Sophia, Abba Shekinah, Abba Imma, or neutral names like Creator.  There is nothing theologically wrong with any of these, and I think there is a place for their use, especially in private devotion.  But in keeping with the revelation given to us by Jesus, Sacred Scripture, and the Tradition of the Church, we can pray to God the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit in the usual way, and allow the feminine presence of God (Shekinah) to be experienced through a rich Marian devotion.  For in Mary dwells Holy Wisdom, in her face is reflected the maternal light of God.  In her arms we are comforted by our holy Mother, Queen of Heaven.  We are not making Mary an idol when we do this, or worshiping her as God.  We are rather experiencing the motherhood of God through her.  She is immanent, she is human like us, and she is all that we, both women and men, aspire to be as divinized human beings.

This blog will explore the practices of a deep Marian devotion, one that points us to Jesus, converts us to the ways of God and a holy, sacramental life, and shows us the beauty of the divine feminine, the Great Mother, She Who Is.

Marian Mission Re-envisioned

When reading a story or watching a movie, it is fun to make predictions about the plot and to be right in the end! It is perhaps more interesting, however, to be kept guessing and to have events unfold in an unexpected way. Such is the case with my mission to bring Protestants to Mary and to find an ecumenical, Protestant-Catholic hybrid of Marian theology that could work. Things are not turning out as I had originally planned, but the journey certainly is intriguing (at least for me)!

For instance, it is apparent that Mary intended for me to follow her to the Catholic Church, rather than for me to remain in a Protestant church and carry her there, so to speak. However, I still think that perhaps reading about my particular path could encourage non-Catholic Christians to be more open-minded about the issue of Mary and to do some investigating into the beliefs of the Catholic Church on their own. I think it is a feasible idea to incorporate Marian devotion into a Protestant life, as some have already done.

As far as "blending" Catholic and Protestant teachings about Mary, well, a person could certainly do this if he chose to, but as for me, being Catholic does not provide such freedom. There is the issue of dogma, which is an article of faith revealed by God, which the magisterium of the Church presents to be believed and declares as binding. Mary's perpetual virginity is dogma, so I must believe this teaching on faith, even if I don't intellectually understand it yet.

The Divine Motherhood of Mary is the first dogma, which basically states that Jesus was born of a human woman, and that He is one person whose nature is both fully divine and fully human. This is where Mary's title Mother of God comes from; since these two aspects of Jesus are not separate, Mary is mother of both the divine and human natures contained within the incarnated Son of God, who is one with God. This dogma primarily defines who Jesus is and protects against heresy. All Christians should share in this belief. All Christians should also support the virginity of Mary at the time of Jesus' conception up till the time of his birth, even if they do not hold that Mary remained a virgin after. To say otherwise opposes the Bible and is heresy.

In addition to these beliefs about Mary common to all Christians, there should be no one who does not call Mary "highly favored by God", "blessed among women" and "blessed by every generation", as these descriptions come straight from the Bible. Furthermore, under no circumstances can anyone rightly argue that Jesus did not honor his mother, as He must have perfectly done so in obedience to the Ten Commandments. Therefore, He would not have rebuked her, scorned her, or rejected her in any way, as some have suggested, going so far as to say that Jesus did not even like His mother! Since we are to imitate Jesus, we have no choice as Christians but to honor her as well.

An unfortunate fact is that there are so many biblical interpretations out there, depending upon the Protestant denomination to which one belongs. There are some 40,000 Protestant denominations, showing a huge divisiveness in belief, even regarding what would seem to be the most basic tenets of the faith. This is the result of no clear authority. There is, in contrast, only one Catholic Church, so there is much less confusion over doctrine. As a result, there is a much clearer interpretation of Biblical events, understood through the lens of Tradition. Although there is some room for individual interpretation, in which a person reads the Bible and decides for himself what is meant and how it applies to one's life, this cannot be in opposition to official Church teaching. However, there is some latitude in areas in which the Church has not given detailed, decisive revelation. Some things can be believed one way or another and still be within the parameters of official Church teaching.

What I would like to do in future articles is to consider the scenes of Mary's life, particularly those in which it is argued that Mary is trying to interfere with Jesus' mission or is otherwise thought to be pictured in an unflattering light, and to spin a more likely, accurate portrayal. My hope is to bridge some of the gap between Protestant and Catholic thinking on Mary. Some of that depends upon understanding the basis for the authority of the Catholic Church, which Protestants by nature reject. But even if I can show that the Catholic interpretation of Mary is supported by scripture and is viable and valid, then I will have fulfilled my mission successfully!

The Mother of My Lord

When I pray the Hail Mary, I sometimes replace "Mother of God" with the phrase, "Mother of my Lord," which comes directly from the Bible. I have often come across in my Marian studies the assertion that the first part of the Hail Mary is biblical and should not present a problem to Protestants. It is the second part, it is feared, that crosses the line. I have discussed this in more detail in a previous article. Using the title Mother of My Lord accomplishes two things: it sets the second part of the Hail Mary more strongly in biblical tradition, and it reflects the personal nature of my relationship with Mary. I don't have any issue with the theologically valid title "Mother of God," but at times I prefer the more intimate title that Elizabeth gives Mary in the Visitation scene in the Gospel of Luke. Elizabeth exclaims, "Who am I that the mother of my Lord should come to me? Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb!"

I attended a candlelight Christmas Eve service at my grandparents' United Methodist Church, and curiously, the pastor began his scripture readings with the Visitation rather than the Annunciation. His reading brought tears to my eyes. This Christmas Eve service typically consists of bible readings and the singing of hymns, with no actual sermon. The pastor did not comment on the passage. He did not explain its meaning. He just let it stand on its own, leaving us to ponder these mysterious events, allowing the attention given to Mary to shine forth, and he read her entire Magnificat, in which she sings, "My soul magnifies the Lord" and "Every generation shall call me blessed." Mary's song places her in the role of prophetess. Based on the Visitation scene alone, Protestants should have no issue with honoring Mary deeply as "the mother of my Lord." I heard in the pastor's voice that night a tone of reverence as he read this passage.

This experience gave me pause. God's indispensable role for Mary in his plan of salvation was so evident to me, without any explanations, overemphasis, bells, whistles, grandiose poetry or exalted titles that I began to wonder if I could not, indeed, be quite comfortable as a Marian Protestant, rather than feeling that in order to "have" Mary, I would need to convert to Catholicism. It has seemed in my quest to know Mary that in order to experience her spiritual presence in a church setting, it would be mandatory for me to force myself to believe in purgatory, confession to a priest, transubstantiation, worship of the Eucharist, and Mary's perpetual virginity. But when I reflect on how I came to know her, it was to her Rosary Garden that she called me, not to a Catholic mass. It was in her presence in nature that we communed. All I had to do was call to her, and she answered, immediately.

While Mary has mediated between humans and Jesus both in the Bible and in her appearances up to modern times, for me the nature of her intercession is as a spiritual mother, mediating God's maternal love and revealing his feminine face. She has always pointed us to her son. It was through her that God mediated his grace by virtue of making her the mother of his Son. Asking her to pray for us, talking to her in this role of mediation, and enjoying a very personal relationship with and deep devotion to her seems to me entirely Christological.

While I am heartened by recent Protestant attention toward Mary and the reasons we should call her blessed, so far what I have read on the subject lacks acknowledgment of any Protestant possibility of knowing Mary as "The Mother of My Lord" and embracing her as their own mother. Catholic writings, on the other hand, are often so passionate and loving. That's it exactly; they love Mary. They know her intimately. They don't worship her as God, but they understand her through the eyes of love and sonship, rather than honoring her from only a theological/literal/biblical perspective. They don't just venerate Mary because they feel they should, but because it is the most natural response of a child to his mother.

If I ultimately choose membership in a Protestant church, I think I could assert my Marian devotions as both biblical and spiritually essential to my Christian walk, and I think I could teach my child my personal Mariology in a way that should not contradict the church's teachings. Emphasizing that all churches have their own, unique interpretations, and individual Christians have theirs as well, would go a long way toward Christian inclusiveness, love, and respect. Shying away from affirmation of the sacred feminine in the Protestant churches for fear of "Mariolatry" will leave us stuck in a dominantly patriarchal and unsatisfying spirituality that simply doesn't work, even if people do not know precisely what is missing. I have been there, and now I know, and it's thanks to the intercession of Mary, praise be to God.